Bed-blogging…its the new thing

Yes, bed-blogging I tell yah.  I am convinced its the new thing. 

Bed-blogging is appropriate for all and rather comfy.  That is when you don’t have a 65 year old bed that hasn’t been turned in about 34.5 years, and has lovely indentations where we (the hubby and I) sleep. 

Ha!  Take that you new space-age foam, pillow top making mattress companies.  I didn’t need to spend $4,362.11 to have a sweet arse memory foam, body conforming mattress, mine has done it all on its own….after 26 years of sleeping on the same side. 

There’s just one problem.  If I want to lay in another spot or position I'm screwed.  Seems my body doesn’t take to kindly to being laid on the hilly planes that are the middle of my bed.  Never mind you that surrounding those hilly planes are mountainous craters that I am positive I have lost at least one small dog in once, well at least I think that's where my other retro psychedelic fuzzy slipper went off too never to return from the depths that house my legs like the confines of a one-size-to-small bra.

Now before all of you start on me being all like,

“dude ur gross, ur mattress is 65 years old?  like double eww.”

and I'm like,

“um hello, I have three kids, one husband, two dogs, and a jolly rancher addiction, like, where did you think I was going to get the money to buy a new one?”

and your all like,

“seriously, your supposed to vacuum and flip your mattress at least every 6 months, duh.”

and I'm like,

“uh, my momma never taught me that.  She was too busy teaching me to eat just the green m&m’s, how to make a fruit basket, and how to dye my hair so when I say something dumb I can use the ‘blonde moment’ excuse.”

“and hey, its worked every time!”

“I like my momma, she's good people.”

and your all like,

“dude, have you never heard of Martha Stewart, she's like, famous.  She could help you with that.”

and I'm all like,

“dudette, seriously, I have been in jolly rancher rehab, looking for a long lost dog and slipper, and trying to wake the left side of my butt cheek up for 10 years after sleeping in my bed, so like, there!”

I win

love,

Krazay with a sick kid

Have I mentioned…part 1

That I want to homeschool?  And yes, this is part one of three.  Seriously, I talk way too much. 

Yes I know, some of you are oddly staring at your screen wondering what sort of drug I consumed today that would make me want to do such a thing that would literally make you claw the eyes out of your best friends cat, but please know, I am not crazy nor is this a drug induced post.  There are no drugs in my house, extremely potent cough syrup maybe, but no drugs.  I don't condone drugs, don't do em, never have, never will.  I assure you my elevator goes all the way up (most days) and my happy meal is complete with fries and all thank you very much.

I do, I want to homeschool my kiddos.  Let me explain a few things first so we are on the same page.

My kids are 10, 8, and 3. 

Lets start with the 10 yr old boy. 

First born, only son, and has been diagnosed ADHD by several peds since he was roughly 5-6 yrs old.  Quick stint on meds (after much soul searching on my part) proved that meds were NOT going to help child #1.  NO meds on board since…yes some days I need them (I often self-medicate with jolly ranchers) to deal with his exponential amount of ticks, twitches, outbursts, and overall hyper speed walking/stomping he does through my home.

He struggles.  Always has.  He needs a space where he can learn in HIS WAY.  I think child #1 would benefit greatly from HS.  He is very unorganized (gee I wonder where he gets that) but that boy can out read a 6th grader.  Math is by far his most difficult subject with science being his favorite subject. 

Lemme tell you something else, I have not seen one iota of homework for science this year.  This bums me out.  He loves science.  I have only been hammered (well he has) by a huge packet of math and timelines etc. for homework.  I would love to explore this more with him.  Rocks, minerals, planets, solar systems, and space really interest him.  He is all ears and asks 50 questions during any Discovery channel program we watch.  I want to do science more with my son and see him explore that more than feel like I have to constantly bombard him with a subject that he finds so frustrating and self esteem killing.  We try with math but there is only so much you can do in a public school system, either they keep up or they have to take “special” classes for kids that aren't right there in line with the others in his class.  

He often feels singled out for this reason.  I feel for him I really do.  He begs me to be homeschooled.  That in turn does something to my womb.  Then I cry and pout to his father (who doesn’t agree with HS at this point), then I stampede into the kitchen like one of Pioneer Womens cows, and instantly start sifting for some watermelon jolly ranchers.  If that aint self-medicating I don't know what is.

Up next…child #2.  She is all fun and games lemme tell yah. 

Love,

The Jolly Rancher Queen

DSD Course Outline – and music

Those of you that read my blog will know that I have been working on getting a “learn to become a digital scrapbook designer course” together. 

Just wanted to share a bit more information on what to expect in the course so that you can see what things will be touched on within the course. 

Here is a brief outline about the course.  Please note: This is not finished so things may be changed during the process of making the course.

1. Backgrounds

• solid colors
• patterned
• grunge
• dotted
• collaged

2. Elements

• brads
• ribbons bows
• journal papers
• paper strips for journaling
• hanging items
• pinned down items
• folded corners
• torn edges
• shapes
• hand drawn look
• frames
• bling bling

3. Word Art

• regular text
• text on a path
• quotes
• fancy
• miscellaneous

4. Picking a Color Scheme

• how many colors?
• how to choose coordinating colors
• breaking the rules with color!

5. Working within Photoshop

• your workspace
• the  move tool
• the rectangular marquee tool
• lasso tool
• magic wand tool
• the crop tool
• the brush tool
• clone stamp tool
• pattern stamp tool
• eraser tool
• paint bucket and gradient tool
• blur tool
• sharpen tool
• smudge tool
• dodge tool
• burn tool
• pen tool – in detail – multiple lessons on using it
• text tool
• path and direct selection tool
• shape tool
• eyedropper tool
• zoom tool
• working with swatches tool
• quick mask mode
• screen modes
• working with filters – multiple filters – each with its own lesson
• liquify tool – how mastering it takes time and an overview
• liquify tool – how its unmatched in its ability to make your elements look real
• overview of the menus – file, edit, image, layer, select, view, window
• quick overview of using bridge with Photoshop
• using the different palettes  - paths, history, actions, channels etc.

6. Working with your kit

• the process and workflow of designing
• where to start and how I setup my workspace to begin designing
• how to file your kits
• what you need to design
• saving our backgrounds
• saving your elements
• making actions to increase your workflow and save time
• working with layers

7. What is my style?

• Finding your design style
• working outside of that comfort zone of styles

8. Marketing yourself

• I'm a designer now what?
• starting a blog
• give it away and they will come
• joining top sites
• being consistent

9. Joining Forces

• finding a position
• what to expect when you apply

10. Your done, now what?

• keep designing!
• how long till i am there?
• what's the secret?
• where do i go from here?

Ok well, that wraps up the course outline so far.  Whew that was a mountain to type LOL.  Hope you find some of this stuff interesting enough to catch a lesson or two! 

Always grateful for any feedback or suggestions.

Oh, and please note, sometimes I have some awesome background music from the 3 yr old. 

She is highly advanced in percussion instruments (banging my wooden spoons on my table and chair while I am recording), as well as highly adept at singing (if you consider being serenaded with twinkle twinkle wittle star, often off key, to be singing.  Hey I do…its my midget. Kapeeesh?) and often times she comes to me wanting to eat something!  The nerve! 

Hellllo, I am working here midget. 

I hope you can forgive the sometimes in the background additions she provides, I do my best to make these videos as high quality as possible but sometimes all my efforts don't pay off and then I overdose on watermelon jolly ranchers and instantly I feel better about the world. 

That’s it.  The end.  I am dead tired.  Goodnight.

hmmm…speaking of jolly ranchers……

New Free Video Class coming soon!

I have been steadily working on getting through the course outline for the new Video Classes on how to become a digital scrapbook designer.  Wow is it going to take a while to get this course complete. 

Let me break it down for ya:

The amount of coke zero consumed while at my keyboard should equal a part ownership of the company.  Well, they could at least give me some free stock.

When this is all said and done my dr bills are going to be high due the multiple carpel tunnel surgeries I will have to endure given the 82,368 words per day I am typing. 

I'm going to need major Botox to get rid of the nice number 11 between my eyebrows from constantly frowning at the computer.

The dentist will love my bill because 693,563 jolly ranchers (I only eat watermelon, apple, and cherry.  When I am desperate blue raspberry somehow finds its way to my mouth.  Grape never gets near me unless I am in a state of panic) I will have consumed during the writing of this course will likely rot all the teeth I have right outta my head.

Macaroni and cheese has never sounded so good.

Hotdogs have found their way onto the menu.

my hair need a dye job.

I have FBS = Flat butt syndrome from sitting in this chair for way too many hours.

I  need the laundry fairy. 

Ponytails have taken the place of my flat iron.

Yoga pants and t-shirts are currently what I live in.

See what I do for you cuz I wanna help you?  Not to mention that a lot of the video lessons are going to be free. 

Someone please send a jolly rancher deprived, no makeup wearing, non-laundry doing women something will yah? 

Just kidding.  Just show me some love on my blog by leaving a comment or suggestion for a lesson.  And please become a follower as random followers will be given some goodies!

And no, I didn't forget about the announcement of a new course.  I am not suffering from jolly rancher depravity that bad yet.  The new lesson will be on how to make a paper clip realistically clip together your items of choice.  In this lesson I am using two papers to digitally clip together but it will work for any purpose.  Coursework materials will be downloadable when I post the lesson. 

Happy learning

Love,

jolly rancher momma

 

Digital Scrapbook Designer Course!

Coming soon!  I am putting together a list of subjects and classes that I feel will benefit anyone wanting to become a digi scrap designer.  I went through the ranks learning as I went and getting alot of help and now looking back on it I wish that there had been a course that walked me through the process that a designer uses to make a complete kit, how the process of getting hired works, how to market my skills and how about getting a blog? 

There are many many things that are asked but never answered in the designing world when it comes to digital scrapbooking so here it is! 

The first ever ( I think….I hope!) complete course that takes you from wondering how on earth to  make a realistic ribbon to setting up your blog and marketing yourself and getting a job!

Any input or skills/classes you all would like to see be a part of the course please scream it at me while I get this thing together.  Its going to be huge ( I don't mean like I'm going to be a millionaire huge I mean the course is going to be very big with alot of information) with pdf files, word files, design files, freebies to get you started, tips, tricks and most exciting each major component will be covered in a step-by-step VIDEO tutorial!!!!

I am excited I hope you all are too!!!!!

 

love,

slaving away with carpel tunnel from writing this course LOL

My Niece and Nephew

I love my sister.  It goes without saying.  She has always been one of the most amazing mainstays in my life.  There are so many stories from back in the day when I was young and just wanted to hang out at her house.  She was my idol.  Always tan.  Perfect skin.  Perfect nails.  Perfect hair.  Yeah well, when don't you think your idol is perfect? 

Its been a few years (I refuse to out my age dang it all) and now she is happily the mom of four great kids that I am lucky enough to call my niece and nephews. 

I was so excited when they, the youngest of the four, came to my house over summer break where we built a bonfire, roasted smores, slept in a huge 12 person tent, watched movies on the laptop, and had an overall blast.  They consumed more food in 3 days than we consume in a week, but I just had a freaking blast and always look forward to having them here.  My nephew is a true charmer.  That boy is the epitome of a gentlemen, funny as a kid could ever be, and just an over all amazing boy.  My niece, the only girl, is a force of nature.  She is gorgeous, tan all the time, blonde hair, and truly unique.  I adore them both and enjoy every minute they are here.  I miss them….dear sista….please send your children to my house soon.

We had a quick photo shoot in my house and this was one pic of them that I love.

I will update this post with more pictures soon.  Right now…I have to get going with other things because we are still finishing the bathrooms and carpeting my stairs.  Oh, and now I am going to paint the middle child's room pink. 

What….I say “What” have I gotten myself into? 

 

love,

aunt (ka-ra-zay) Kerr

Digital Scrapbooking Layout

Here is another layout of my baby during a time in the tub when I couldn't really work my DSLR ( its a Canon Rebel XTi – Lens: 18-200 IS) so I did break out the Photoshop wand and cleaned them up a bit.

As I said in the other post all the products are from DSP.  I don't remember which cd its from but you can find the stuff in their store.

 

That's my baby girl.

All Girl Digital Scrapbook Layout

Its been a while since I have scrapped anything.  You know life gets in the way, you get overwhelmed, or you flat out just dont have the time.  Well after surfing through my computer this mornin I decided I wanted to revisit some of these and decided I would share them.  I have quite a few more that are resting in my external hard drive but I will be posting a few today before getting up to finish remodeling the bathrooms today. 

Here is my baby Selene Brooklyn, aka Mini.  I absolutely adore this picture and this layout.  None of these products are mine. 

I used to work over at DSP and you can find these products in their store.  Feel free to get ideas, copy the layout, switch it up a bit or whatever you want.  I would love to see some of the layouts you fab-u-lous digi-scrappers have done.

Feel free to comment and put up a link to one of your favorite layouts.  I am going to be picking one and showcasing a new layout every couple of weeks. 

Enjoy!

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Well, I must say im slaaaaaaaacking today.  Im a bit tired but hey…got most of the prep work done yesterday.  The MOM is here and she took over and did the early early morning chores (thanks MOM your a dream…err maybe that was a dream anyway).  So now fresh pumpkin pie spices, sweet potatoes (candied yams), and pecan pies are filling my house with the most incredible smell ever.
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it and pictures will be up later showcasing our feast that I plan on needing a serious trainer to work off those calories. 
By the way, is it even legal to want to consume 32,000 calories in like two days?  You tell me!

Gobble Gobble….my lil turkey dude wants to get a tan so I am going to help him with that.

Kerr

PB&J Disaster with some itsy bitsy spider thrown in

This face is a face I love and adore.  I cherish her smile, her little cherub cheeks and even the fact that she refuses to wear clothes.  She literally will wait for me to turn around and go about my business and BAM (my best Emeril impression there) she is nekkad again! 
So here is my beloved little sweetie in a diaper sans clothes (see above :eyeroll:) so happy about he ‘sanwichhh’ that she decided to feed it to her arm, belly, legs, and diaper.  Oh, and what you see her doing there is the song the itsy bitsy spider.  She thought she was soooo coool singing while once again nekkkad (thats naked in Kerr speak) and smiling about the fact that she ate her whole pb&j.

No my child does not always look like this she is rather cute when she leaves her clothes on but alas you try dealing with a three year old and explain that clothes weren’t made to be looked at but to be worn……its a losing battle I fight at least 268 times a day. 

And if your wondering this is what my child looks like when she doesn’t decide to paint herself with her pb&j sanwichhh.

Any ideas on how to get your child to keep their clothes on?  I need em!

Love,

Desperately seeking duck tape aka Kerr

OOOPS! Please download the blog freebie again

Sorry everyone somehow my zip file only contained one single groupie. I am sorry and am reuploading a new improved zip file now. This one will include all the groupies this time around.

Sorry for the inconvenience.


Just click on the link below again and it should be around 11mb instead of a small 38kb.

Hugs
Kerr

My cool new Messenger Pingbox!

Yahoo messenger has a cool new thing called a pingbox!  Now you can talk to me in real time about your favorite scrapping stuff via my yahoo pingbox!  

While I have the chat box on the side where you can leave me messages I thought this would be fun to get to know my scrapping friends in real time!

Have a blast!

Kerr

Thank You for an Awesome Black Friday!!!

Well the most beloved shopping day of the year is over now so I hope you all had crazy fun in the store!  I would just like to say a big thank you to all our wonderful DSP friends who supported us.  

It was a blast!!!  I look forward to next year already!

I hope you all noticed my previous post but if you didnt you still have time to send me your invoice showing at least 3 purchases of my items from the DSP store and get a FREE PAGE KIT!!!

Have a great week and see you in the DSP forums!

Kerr

My personal DNA profile

Ok so I had a minute today and went to my blogging buddies site (Elizabeth McCoy <------look over there for the link~!) and she not only has a new gorgeous site but some really coooool stuff on there. I honestly dont know how she finds all these things but they are pretty cool. Well I stumbled upon this cool thing that asks a million questions (well not that many but dang!) and then thoroughly begins to tell you about yourself as if you don't have enough people telling you "exactly" how you are all the time right? I know makes great sense doesn't it? Well if you have a mindless 15 minutes (or less) to waste on the puter go check out your own personal dna profile. Its pretty neat and its for the most part dead on. And no its not like I needed one more thing to tell me that I am bossy, need to run the show, get along with the looney people in the world, have less than average confidence in myself, like to dictate, and well.....you get the picture. I guess its just fun to see if it will get "me" right! Who thinks up these things anyway? Is there some lonely guy in a room somewhere drinking lots of diet coke and eating subway with no family and a mildly preverse need to figure people out? I mean seriously dude....you reallly need to get out more! And one last thing....if a simple program that can calcute answers against some variables figure me out so well....why cant my husband of 10 years even get remotely close to getting my eye color right? Well, its not that bad (just kidding honey!) but you know, im just sayiing!!!! Anyway here is my DNA Profile!



You are a Director
#

As a DIRECTOR, you combine an unusual openness and passion for beauty and style with confidence and a down-to-earth sensibility that allow you to realize your vision.
#

You are practical and pay attention to the details that others tend to miss.
#

By focusing on what is real and concrete, you achieve more than those who always have their heads in the clouds.
#

When it comes to what really matters in your life, you are confident in your ability to succeed.
#

Having beautiful things in your life gives you pleasure and satisfaction - you have a keen eye for style.
#

Even when problems present themselves, deep down you know you will overcome these challenges.
#

When routines get too familiar, you become bored and start looking for ways to spice things up.
#

You are open to new types of experiences – you are not afraid to take a risk on something new.
#

You have a highly developed sense of taste – you know what looks good on you, in your home, and in the world at large.
#

Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts
#

You're well-attuned to your emotional state, and not afraid to use your feelings to guide you. You tend to be cooperative, rarely contradicting others, and always considerate of their feelings.
#

Your sense of adventure is supreme - you're up for anything, anytime. Making plans in advance isn't necessary for you: you'd rather figure things out on the go.
#

You are a fashion maven, up on trends, but distinct in your own style. You don't follow trends, you set them.

You are Attentive
#

Because you like spending time with others, understand their feelings, and often know what is best for them, you are ATTENTIVE.
#

Some people are merely concerned about others, but you take action, helping people when you have the opportunity.
#

Although you care about others, you are hesitant to trust them to act in the best way on their own.
#

You don't let your concerns with people go unnoticed: if someone has hurt your feelings, that person will hear about it.
#

People energize and excite you—you are able to have fun and be yourself when you're around others.
#

You also learn a lot about yourself by talking things out with people, even if you don't always share things that are important to you.
#

You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and you're not hesitant to express yourself.
#

Understanding the dynamics of a situation is an important skill that you have, and you often intervene to clarify things for others.

Someone please remove the barrel out of my a@@!

ok seriously, I dont consider myself out of shape. No I am not in the best of shape for sure after three kids but im not bad am I? Ok lets do the run down....two months ago I was in my "big girl" jeans and now I can fit into my pre-third child jeans hows that for dieting? Speaking of dieting there is this new and quite fabulous diet on the market...well the scrapbooking market at DSP anyway called the Margie Diet. Let me tell you it works! How does it work? well its pretty simply actually...DONT EAT! Dont eat? are you kidding me?! Your sitting there telling yourself that there is no way you can do the Margie diet because you rather like food and it seems to really like you because every brownie or piece of cake you have ever eaten hangs around for a whole lot longer than you would like but lets face it we all like food thats a part of life its just a sad sad thing that it makes you gain wieght.

Now im not talking to you rediculously skinny girls who pop out babies and walk out the same day with your pre-pregnancy jeans on! No you can keep your comments to yourself thank you very much I dont want to even talk to you really because somehow God gave you all the right jeans...I mean Genes! and I apparently was holding the door for your skinny self when you went to get those there genes! But I can tell you again that the Margie diet totally works...you simply restrict your intake. What intake....I dont intake anything honestly.....I look at it I want it and then I take myself away from it....! Nope its not healthy really and no your not going to get that suave body that those crazy girls have on espn that do those body building shows but you will fit into your skinny jeans and that is a gold medal all in and of itself lemme tell you.

And so your wondering at this point why on earth did she name this post about removing a barrel? she has only talked about some crazy diet that tells me I cant eat when my love affair with food is going no where anytime soon so get on with it already...ok!!!!

Friday I had the goodfortune to go to the barn with my sister. She owns a horse and her daughter rides english. For those of you not so horse savvy peeps there are two types of skills in horsmanship and the other is western. Basic principles....keep your butt on your horse and hang on really...but vastly different to those of us who study a particular discipline which i have and did for many years before my braincell stealing children were born(all the moms know that with each child you deliver more and more of your braincells especially those dealing with memory are somehow lost forever during the birthing process. I have waited and waited, to no avail of course, for a Dr. to declare; "here we have a beautiful baby girl with her braincell and memory challenged mother"). Anyway....I rode english for many years and owned my own horses, worked with some top show barns, rode some amazing elite horses of the day, groomed for famous horse people like Margie Goldstien Engle, and delivered $35,000 dollar foals in my day.

Now here I am 10 years later, dont forget the 3 kids, and I walk back into my element. The smell is amazing at a horse barn. Old leather, horse sweat, hay, and horse they are all my favorite things. I have said for years if I could simply bottle up and sell "horse" I would not only wear it but quite a few of my acquaintences would as well. There is nothing better than putting your face directly to a horse and taking in as much of that smell as you can. All you horsey girls will get and you others will have finally hit the mother load on your sense of my being and say "yep, I knew she was fruitloop and this just totally proves it!" Well I got my butt in gear and got on this wonderful 4 year old named Cowboy (how funny im riding english on a western named horse!) and we had a great hack around the indoor. Well...after not riding after ten years I now realize my mistake....I rode without chaps and I almost cantered him! Helllllloooo....do you not realize that the inside of your legs havent seen that much action since you were in delivery with the third child? Well I am now sadly paying the price....to say I am walking funny is one heck of an understatement and oy I have found muscles I forgot existed! And that is why this post is named as it is because I seriously need one of you wonderful people to please find the damn barrel that is stuck up there and kindly remove it for me or I swear I am forever going to walk bowlegged.

Ok im done rambling holy horse crap thats the longest post ever on my blog!

Any horsey folks around? Just wondering since this is a mostly scrappin blog but hey....

WHERE MY GIRLS AT?

DSP Blog Prompt: Are women equal? why/why not

This is a toughie really. I find that while I think women are equal in some respects in others they are clearly not. I don't think there will ever be a woman president but I definitely know that there are women who are presidents of companies and that is a growing trend.

I feel like most men assume they can always do the job better and I obviously don't agree with that although I do think there are jobs that are better suited to men like (i know this one first hand) men should definitely be the ones behind those big industrial strength mowers! While a woman can do it, I personally have done it with our 54 inch zero turn walk behind, I will definitely in the future leave that up to the man and not try to be super woman. My body hurt and my hands now have gross callous' because they blistered up holding that beast of a mower back and not letting it run away with me.

In short I think women have come along way but we were intended by God to have certain attributes that make us who we are. All of us have our strong points and we all have our shortcomings but that doesn't mean that we are inferior because we are not men!

Miss Mini with her priceless pout

Heres my youngest giving me grief and putting on her famous pout she has. I just had to get a pic of her doing this and caught it perfectly one night while she was in her turnaround.

All of the papers and elements are my creation.

Hope you like it!

What American accent do you have?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North   You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

How true is this!  I dont say grab me a soda, or grab me a coke, nope!  I say grab me a pop?  How on earth can this thing be right?!?

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