Sunday, October 5, 2008

Someone please remove the barrel out of my a@@!

ok seriously, I dont consider myself out of shape. No I am not in the best of shape for sure after three kids but im not bad am I? Ok lets do the run down....two months ago I was in my "big girl" jeans and now I can fit into my pre-third child jeans hows that for dieting? Speaking of dieting there is this new and quite fabulous diet on the market...well the scrapbooking market at DSP anyway called the Margie Diet. Let me tell you it works! How does it work? well its pretty simply actually...DONT EAT! Dont eat? are you kidding me?! Your sitting there telling yourself that there is no way you can do the Margie diet because you rather like food and it seems to really like you because every brownie or piece of cake you have ever eaten hangs around for a whole lot longer than you would like but lets face it we all like food thats a part of life its just a sad sad thing that it makes you gain wieght.

Now im not talking to you rediculously skinny girls who pop out babies and walk out the same day with your pre-pregnancy jeans on! No you can keep your comments to yourself thank you very much I dont want to even talk to you really because somehow God gave you all the right jeans...I mean Genes! and I apparently was holding the door for your skinny self when you went to get those there genes! But I can tell you again that the Margie diet totally works...you simply restrict your intake. What intake....I dont intake anything honestly.....I look at it I want it and then I take myself away from it....! Nope its not healthy really and no your not going to get that suave body that those crazy girls have on espn that do those body building shows but you will fit into your skinny jeans and that is a gold medal all in and of itself lemme tell you.

And so your wondering at this point why on earth did she name this post about removing a barrel? she has only talked about some crazy diet that tells me I cant eat when my love affair with food is going no where anytime soon so get on with it already...ok!!!!

Friday I had the goodfortune to go to the barn with my sister. She owns a horse and her daughter rides english. For those of you not so horse savvy peeps there are two types of skills in horsmanship and the other is western. Basic principles....keep your butt on your horse and hang on really...but vastly different to those of us who study a particular discipline which i have and did for many years before my braincell stealing children were born(all the moms know that with each child you deliver more and more of your braincells especially those dealing with memory are somehow lost forever during the birthing process. I have waited and waited, to no avail of course, for a Dr. to declare; "here we have a beautiful baby girl with her braincell and memory challenged mother"). Anyway....I rode english for many years and owned my own horses, worked with some top show barns, rode some amazing elite horses of the day, groomed for famous horse people like Margie Goldstien Engle, and delivered $35,000 dollar foals in my day.

Now here I am 10 years later, dont forget the 3 kids, and I walk back into my element. The smell is amazing at a horse barn. Old leather, horse sweat, hay, and horse they are all my favorite things. I have said for years if I could simply bottle up and sell "horse" I would not only wear it but quite a few of my acquaintences would as well. There is nothing better than putting your face directly to a horse and taking in as much of that smell as you can. All you horsey girls will get and you others will have finally hit the mother load on your sense of my being and say "yep, I knew she was fruitloop and this just totally proves it!" Well I got my butt in gear and got on this wonderful 4 year old named Cowboy (how funny im riding english on a western named horse!) and we had a great hack around the indoor. Well...after not riding after ten years I now realize my mistake....I rode without chaps and I almost cantered him! Helllllloooo....do you not realize that the inside of your legs havent seen that much action since you were in delivery with the third child? Well I am now sadly paying the price....to say I am walking funny is one heck of an understatement and oy I have found muscles I forgot existed! And that is why this post is named as it is because I seriously need one of you wonderful people to please find the damn barrel that is stuck up there and kindly remove it for me or I swear I am forever going to walk bowlegged.

Ok im done rambling holy horse crap thats the longest post ever on my blog!

Any horsey folks around? Just wondering since this is a mostly scrappin blog but hey....

WHERE MY GIRLS AT?

2 comments:

Marcee Duggar on October 5, 2008 at 10:42 PM said...

no eating...hmmmm let me think about that one for a sec...nope dont think I could do that...I actually lost 60lbs last year...but somehow i keep finding them all over the place...lol...

Susie on October 10, 2008 at 1:39 AM said...

Ah, the good stinky days of riding horses! I miss it. It's funny how kids just don't let you do stuff like that.
I never owned a horse, but I wish I'd had enough $$$ to do that.
I'm English all the way, too. Western is too easy!

 

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